


All Those Parallel Universes And Galaxies And So

by skamruinedme (shinystar66)



Series: Skam Weeks [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Character Death, Fluff, M/M, Making Up, Non-Linear Narrative, he's not actually dead though, you'll have to read to understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:40:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinystar66/pseuds/skamruinedme
Summary: Even ran and dropped to his knees before realising what was going on. He started screaming, letting out an animal-like sound as he touched the unmoving boy. He grabbed his limp hand, looking for a pulse. He couldn't find one.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Series: Skam Weeks [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706635
Comments: 25
Kudos: 95





	All Those Parallel Universes And Galaxies And So

**Author's Note:**

> I know what the tags and the description look like, but you'll have to trust me on this. Also, I now realise that this might be cheating, oops? Anyway, happy Skam Week 2!

_There were screams, probably his mixed with someone else's. But Even couldn't hear anything. He couldn't see or feel either. But how could he possibly not hear his own screams? It was because his heart stopped. Actually, it wasn't his that did, but it might as well have been, considering he was holding, no, gripping Isak's wrist and he couldn't feel a pulse._

_And it wasn't that he didn't know how or where to check, he had felt a weak beat a second prior to that. But then it ceased. There was so much blood, too much, everywhere he looked. Made his stomach twist unpleasantly. He pressed his fingers harder, still nothing. More screams. He was pretty sure that he was having an out-of-body experience, he couldn't even begin to comprehend what was happening._

_There were sirens. Then there was someone trying to push him away, away from the boy whose hand was slowly turning cold. Who's the boy? Isak, right, the love of his life who was now lying in a pool of blood. More hands were trying to push Even out of the way. His ears were still ringing so loudly he couldn't hear the voices that were begging him to move._

_He let it go, the hand. Why had he clung to it again? He didn't know, but it was the first thing he had done after crouching next to the motionless boy._

_And then it dawned on him: Isak had been hit by a car. Right in front of him. And he hadn't done anything to stop it._

_Even couldn't breathe. The world was spinning, or maybe it was just him that did as someone had managed to get between them and Even was now swaying unsteadily on his feet. No, the word wasn't spinning. It had stopped. It was the end of the world. The end of the universe._

_"He's coding." A paramedic shouted to another._

_The pain was so overwhelming he couldn't breathe._

_But he still screamed of how terribly it hurt._

_How did they get here?_

.

Moving and adapting to another city didn't go as smoothly as Even had hoped. They'd been living in Trondheim for 2 years, but it still wasn't easy. In the beginning they thought moving was the best decision they could have made, that they both needed a fresh start away from the city that mostly brought them sorrow, but now they were starting to feel tired. 

Tired of classes and tired of jobs. Tired of adulting. Because although they were independent when they lived in their own apartment in Oslo, they still had parental figures around to help. Or at least Even did, because Isak's relationship with his parents was still rocky. Actually, now that Even thought about it, Isak had pretty much lived on his own since he was 16. So maybe it was just him missing his parents' presence. 

Then there were their friends. 'Their' because they shared friends now. Even had been part of Isak's squad since the beginning, he didn't understand why, but he couldn't be more grateful, because those boys were a true blessing. And when Even started talking to the Bakka boys again, Isak was practically adopted by them, despite the bumpy start.

They didn't really have friends in Trondheim. There were people they got along and went out with, sure. But no one to put their trust into. No one to call at 2 in the morning in case of an emergency.

So they were pretty much on their own. They did go back to Oslo a lot, and their friends did come visit on multiple occasions, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same with Sana and Yousef studying in Holland either. Because they saw them even more rarely then they saw their other friends.

But that was life, Even supposed. Maybe the transition to adulthood wasn't easy, but it had just started so he couldn't be tired already, but damn, he was. The depressive episode he had just come out of wasn't helping either. It was the first major one he'd had since they moved, and he could see the toll it took on Isak, who had to deal with him all by himself. He had to manage the house and the bills and his job and his classes and everything else alone. Isak was exhausted, barely holding on.

And Even didn't really want to put Isak through that again. Hence the fighting started. It wasn't that Even wanted to leave or to break up, hell, he loved Isak more than he had loved anyone or anything before. He was pretty sure no one could love someone as much as he loved Isak. Well, maybe, except for Isak himself.

But he couldn't stand the thought of hurting his boy like that again. Sometimes love wasn't enough. That was a line he'd heard in movies as a child, but never understood. He was starting to get it now, though.

Because although their love was cosmic, with them always finding each other and being together in all those parallel universes and galaxies and so, it wasn't enough in this situation. Not when one party was suffering so much he sobbed into his pillow every night, when he thought Even was asleep.

Even knew this would happen since the beginning, he had always known he was a burden. And it would get worse, so it was only logical that they broke things off now. But Isak was stubborn and Even wasn't brave enough. Because he needed Isak like he needed oxygen to breathe, and a sudden break would have broken him too.

So he began to distance himself slowly. He tried to make his boyfriend resent him and be the one to leave. It was a coward move, but Even didn't know what else to do. This was for the best, he kept telling himself. The problem was, Isak knew and Isak called him on his bullshit, and that was how they were stuck in an endless circle of fighting matches.

Hell broke loose on a Sunday.

They had barely seen each other that week. Even didn't even know if they could still be considered a couple, since they only spoke at night. And that was to say a simple "Goodnight" and then sleep with their backs turned to each other. It hurt. It hurt and Even missed him so much, but he knew it was for the best.

Only that Isak snapped while they were in the middle of the street, of all the places.

"Why don't you have the guts to straight up break up with me, since this is what you so desperately want?" Isak screamed and Even flinched. There were no people or cars around, but the embarrassment he felt for fighting so publically still got to Even.

"I don't want to break up with you." He replied because it was the truth.

"Then why are we doing this shit?" His boyfriend asked, his brows shooting up. Isak tried to look angry, but Even could see the fear reflecting in his eyes.

"Because we have to." Even replied, his vision dropping to his shoes. He couldn't face Isak because he knew he'd give in if he did.

"But we don't. We don't. If you don't want to, and I don't want to, we don't have to. What's so hard to understand?" 

"I can't make you do this again." Even gulped, still not lifting his eyes from the ground.

"Do what? Love you? It's not a fucking hardship. How many times do I have to tell you that- For fuck's sake, Even, just look at me when I talk to you!" He didn't. He closed his eyes instead, trying not to let the tears that were gathering is his eyelids fall.

"Well, fuck you, Even." Isak spat out and turned on his heels and to the street.

_Next thing he was aware of was the honk of a speeding car. A second, that's all it took. Because in the next second Even opened his eyes, and there was a bloody body lying on the ground._

_NO. NO. NO. NO. **NO.** This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening._

_Isak. Isak. Isak. Isak._

_He ran and dropped to his knees before even realising what was going on. He started screaming, letting out an animal-like sound as he touched the unmoving boy. He grabbed his limp hand, looking for a pulse. He couldn't find one._

.

_"Time of death: 12:12"_

_"No."_

_"Even." A voice was calling but he couldn't recognise it. Someone was holding him back._

_"No, please try again, this can't, he can't-"_

_"It's been too long-"_

_"We tried everything-"_

_"Even. He's gone."_

_"No."_

"Even."

"No." _He shook his head. Isak was dead. He wished he were dead instead._

"Even."

"No."

"Even. Wake up."

_Huh?_

Even blinked away, surprised to see he wasn't on his knees on the cold concrete, but rather in his-their bed. Isak was hovering over him with wide eyes and Even felt a few tears slip at the sight.

"What's going on? Did you have a nightmare? You kept screaming and-"

"Fuck. Fuck, Isak. Fuck." He said, lunging himself at his confused boyfriend. He just needed to hold him. It seemed so real, he could still feel the blood on his hands.

"Baby? Why are you crying? Why are you shaking? What's wrong?" Isak asked, his voice breaking, as if he was the one in distress. Even just shook his head and held him tighter, burying his nose deeper into Isak's neck and probably soaking his T-shirt as he resumed sobbing.

Isak didn't get an answer so he started drawing circles on Even's back, in what he hoped to be a soothing motion. He was more than confused, but he hated seeing his boyfriend like this.

"It's ok. It's ok. I'm here, you're fine, you're safe." He whispered, pressing sweet kissed to Even's face everywhere he could. On his nose and his lips and his cheeks and his eyelids. He was kissing his tears away and Even felt himself melt at the gesture.

And it was only then that he realised that the accident might have been a dream, but him and Isak fighting for weeks wasn't. And despite that, his boy was still comforting and embracing him with love. Even didn't deserve him.

"I dreamed you- that a car hit you while we were arguing in the street. It felt so real."

"Like how we fought yesterday?" 

"I don't remember." Even hiccuped. "My thoughts are all jumbled and I don't know what was real and what wasn't, I don't know if I'm still dreaming-

"Nothing happened to me yesterday." Isak said, cupping his face, forcing them to make eye contact. Even had no choice but to look into those green pools of light and feel his boyfriend's breath fan on his cheek.

"We were fighting but there was no one on the street, remember? I was about to storm off, but that old lady walked up to us out of nowhere and called me crazy."

Even did remember that.

_"Are you out of your mind? Running in the street without looking? Do you want to get yourself killed?" She had shouted._

_"Well I don't see any car approaching, do you, ma'am?" He had spat out before Even grabbed him from there, not only because he realised the danger Isak had been in and his heart started beating erratically at the thought of what could have happened, but also out of pure embarrassment at being scolded._

_"What are you doing, let me go, Even-"_

_"Let's just go home."_

"We didn't talk after that, we went straight to bed and here we are." Isak finished his explanation and Even nodded, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

He remembered that, and how he couldn't get the lady's words out of his mind before drifting off. That was probably what caused the nightmare that still wrecked his brain and made him feel all sorts of wrong.

"I'm ok." Isak continued and, sensing that more reassurance was needed, took Even's hand and placed it on his chest, right above his heart.

Even almost started crying again, thinking of how Isak's pulse had stopped beneath his fingertips in his dream-nightmare. But that was fake and this was real, Isak's steady and strong heartbeat being proof of that. 

"I'm so sorry for what I've done and said, Isak, I'm so sorry- I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you. I love you so much. I don't want to feel like that ever again,"

"It's ok, you're forgiven." Isak leaned to press a sloppy kiss on Even's lips and wrapped him in his arms again. Even couldn't help but think that this was his favourite place. He was pretty sure no heaven compared to being surrounded by Isak's warmth and smell.

"You can never die." He added later, while they were still rocking back and forward in their embrace, basking in each other's presence.

"Even-"

"I'm serious. You're not allowed to."

"But didn't you use to say that love stories have to end in tragedy to be epic?" Isak replied, his tone playful, but he realised it wasn't the right thing to say given how Even stilled in his arms.

"I'm sorry. That was wrong of me to say,"

"No, you're right. I used to say that, but I don't think so anymore."

"No?" Isak asked while Even pushed a strand of hair behind his ear.

"No. I think our love story is pretty epic as it is." Even explained and Isak beamed. "And I think I am happy to be here, and to have you with me. And I wouldn't change it for anything in the world."

"I love you." Isak replied, kissing Even hungrily. This was different from the previous kisses they'd shared that morning. It was hard and desperate and felt like a promise of some sorts. Even deepened the kiss to try and taste as much of Isak as he could. He needed all of his senses engulfed by his boy.

"I just wish you didn't see yourself as a burden anymore." Isak added as he pulled back, their foreheads still pressed together. "If only you could see a glimpse of what I see when I look at you. If only you understood that I don't put up with you, that I take care of you because I love you-"

"But what happened this time wasn't ok, Isak." Even said firmly, because they needed to talk about this once and for all. "Don't think I didn't hear you crying every night," Isak's cheeks turned pink at that. "You were exhausted, baby."

"Yeah, but that's not your fault," 

"I think we should move back to Oslo." Even said, hoping Isak would understand what he meant. "I kind of miss our friends." He added, making his point without actually explaining it.

Isak just looked at him and Even could swear they were having a conversation with their eyes only. Perhaps their brains were actually connected, maybe they were actual soulmates.

_"You think I can't handle things?"_

_"No, I think you can but I don't want you to. I just don't want you to be so alone again when I can't be there for you. And there's no shame in asking for help, I know you're used to doing everything by yourself, but there's no need to."_

"Ok, we can try to move back to Oslo when this year is done." Isak agreed and Even smiled. They would be ok.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated! I was really happy to see how many authors were involved in this week, I'm glad the fandom is not that dead yet. Stay safe. 💛


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